BOOM Crash! That’s how it all began! A large blast and there I was, a mortal man with the fury of a million kittens that meowed for hardcore vengeance! I was not always this way mind you, I use to be civil…can you fucking imagine it!?! I can barely anymore, it’s more of a dream than a reality…but everything is a dream these days. It began where all great tales begin, with a woman. But fuck the small details, let’s summarize. She may or may not of sent me a letter to meet her at Goaty Mchorses club of socialized disorder and I went, being the good boy I was. Some other shit happened, she calls all "Oh Jarvy, come save me from a flat tire in the woods cause I didn’t pay my light bill and the Aids in my pants is threatening to kill me cause i’m a WHORE! So I drove out to meet her and I found a delightful site, she was not here at the moment but her car was…or was it? Who knows at this point, maybe it was. So I go into the woods and BAM! The angel of dreams came to me in those woods and foretold my coming to the world. She laid her big Mickey Mouse glove upon my fevered brow and I became more…a rabbit with a score to settle! I dove into the darkness, renewed with vigor and…crap. I woke up in a looney bin where the orderlys were most gentle with their anal inspections, though someone may want to tell them that two a day is most uncalled for. So I went home after a week and a old fuddy duddy doctor was sitting there all “Blah fucking blah you did the world a favor and brutally murder raped your ex wife, fa la la wheres the beef?” I sent him merrily on his way knowing that one day our lovers starlit paths would cross again, till then my heart would wait. Hmmm, then what? The dragon, that fucking White Supremacist shitbird Red Dragon in a late model Pinto. No one believed that story, but they’ll sing a new tune when the cross is on THEIR yards. After that I made a new friend..Brian was his name. Misguided youth but with my guidance he came up in the world. I met a Queen! She was something mind you…all “Blah blah i’m all judgey and I smell like feets wrapped in potatoes so my view of a simple mistake is jaded.” I met one of the angry clown rappers too, something about wrenching ho’s mixed with shamrocks…the kids are sure into weird things these days. Hmm…skipping around a bit…Mekkles got stabbed, I got bit by a Chihuahua in the land of dreams….Morguey gave me some special power…Mekkles came back from the dead. Met a troll Sam Spade…A sidhe..she’s..her. Oooo there’s ole Nancy too! Spider Woman eat your heart out! Why and what she teaches me I’ll never know, horrible student maybe, who knows. I channeled the holy son for a night and helped save the mad from the clutches of sanity. I found my wife that had been turned into a zombie and shuffled her the mortal coil..and am pretty happy really. Life is full of adventures and i’m just running into it headfirst. WEEEEE!